The Amateur Amateur Runners Creed

Here is a little something I like to recite in my head while I go running:

I...

WILL NOT be ashamed of my cotton shorts and hand-me-down running shoes.

WILL NOT make eye contact with those runners in spandex and $300 running shoes.

WILL NOT be ashamed of my red face, which will always be likened to that of a fire truck by the end of my run.

WILL NOT be ashamed of the ocean that is now submerging my entire body.

WILL NOT press the down button on speed on the treadmill.

WILL NOT even look at the display on the treadmill!

WILL NOT think about how fat my calves look in the mirror across from the treadmill. The mirror is wrong I tell you, wrong!!

WILL NOT be deterred by even the steepest of hills.

WILL NOT be afraid of mountain lions or rapists on the trails.

WILL NOT forget/be too lazy to stretch before and after my run.

WILL NOT let myself think that the people passing by in cars think I'm stupid or silly.

WILL NOT make this about weight or becoming more beautiful.

WILL NOT let myself make a rhythm-song out of my footfalls, because it eventually makes me crazy.

WILL NOT count things as I run, because that also makes me crazy.

WILL NOT stop running... unless my lungs might burst or I feel like I am going to pee my pants.

I...

WILL focus on my breathing.

WILL look where I am going so that I don't trip and make a fool out of myself.

WILL drink lots of water before and after.

WILL explore new places.

WILL enjoy nature and sunshine.

WILL smile and nod at people curtly if I do accidentally make eye contact.

WILL also train by doing muscle strengthening exercises later.

WILL be as fast as I was in high school. One day.

WILL feel superior to anyone not running. Like all the stupid people in their loud cars.

WILL make this about becoming a stronger, healthier person.

WILL feel good at the end of this whole mess. Trust me.

WILL keep running. To the end of the block at least. Or maybe that electric box way down there, if I can make it...If not the end of the block then.

WILL be a super badass fit lady!

addendums made be made at a later time when I think of other totally inspiring thoughts as I run.