Saturday, January 21, 2012

90 Days to Become a Badass

Today is January 21st, which marks the official 3 month countdown to the USMC Mud Run in Columbia, South Carolina. I've got 90 days to become a badass super fit lady.

Considering how I huff and puff up hills like that little engine that could(n't), I literally have miles to go before I sleep. Yes, I am putting myself through a pretty darn intense training schedule. Seriously guys, professional athletes would probably tremble in anxiety if they saw the two miles I make myself run/walk every day. It's really difficult, and definitely not for everyone.

But Meri, you ask, how could you possibly rise to this challenge. And better yet, why??

Is it because I want to shed pounds and become a super hot sexy fox?


Because I already am a super hot sexy fox. Don't see it? Go put on a pair of beer goggles... There you go. Now you can definitely see it.

No, I am not training to lose weight. This year is 2012. If you haven't already heard, the world is supposed to end this year. And if I am going to find myself smack dab in the middle of an apocalypse, most likely with zombies, I want to kick as many butts and take as many names as I can. And if I die, I'll die a hero. Not as some nerdy white girl. Which is why participation -and success- in this mud run is an absolutely crucial element to my future memory.
Yep, one day the survivors of this world will make a statue in honor of me. I'll be in all the post-apocalypse history textbooks.

And IF I do become even sexier and hotter (if that is even possible!) in the process, well, that's just an added bonus. That means a post-apocalypse equivalent to Angelina Jolie can play me in the movie they will inevitably make out of my life. Once they are done rebuilding civilization, of course.

The point is, I like feeling strong. Exercising makes me feel good.... Good and superior to all the lazy couch potatoes out there. That's the true joy in this thing. That is what it is all about.

So join me as I record the experiences of transforming to nerdy white girl art student into super badass fit lady, starting with my mud run extravaganza. Along the way we will encounter many a mysterious and interesting things that happen in a SoCal art school world, my ascension above men and romance included...because let's face THAT is ever going to happen here. Also super badass fit ladies DO NOT care about that sort of thing. All they are concerned with is kicking butts and taking names.

Welcome, my friends, to my sexless and cynical life.

(title courtesy of my mom...thanks mom, for the insight)

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