Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Truth About Big Butts

So, recently this image has been floating around in my news feed on Facebook. It's a supposedly fake Nike ad for a campaign promoting big butted women. (I recommend reading it before you read mine.) While I agree with and applaud the message, I felt like it could use some tweaking to be slightly more accurate and in line with my life.

It's funny because all the girls I have seen sharing it I don't really consider as having big butts. I think the world just doesn't understand sometimes. There is a difference between having a butt and having a large butt. Every girl thinks her butt is big, but really, how often do we look at ourselves from straight behind? I do, every day in the mirror, because I have two of them. So I would know.

I have a large rear end that can rival the likes of any black girl, and especially Nicky Minaj. This butt is both a blessing and a curse.
I, personally, love my body. You probably couldn't tell, seeing as how I only compliment myself but a few times each post. But I do. It's not perfect, but coming from the point of view of someone who has looked very closely at a large variety of naked people several times a week for the past 3 years, I have a unique shape. And I like it. It's interesting. And fun to draw. Which is why I draw myself all the time. I didn't think I was THAT much of a narcissist did you? Naw, I just like to draw curvy women.
The drawback, of course, is all the those other parts of life. No one builds the world around women with abnormally large rear ends. Especially clothing designers. I haven't gotten pants shopping in three years. I am not fat and I refuse to let something like denim make me feel like I am. Also, I am pretty sure clothes were invented by overbearing cave-parents to actually make their daughters look less attractive and scare off all the other indecent cave men. Seriously though, every time I see someone take off their clothes, they instantly start looking better!

...I'm talking about life models, you pervert.

I'll talk about naked people more one another day, so back to my point. Having a big butt is tough to deal with. ...Gosh, my life is just riddled with obstacles. I have it so hard, don't I? But I persevere onwards. Because I have a dream that one day, there will be a famous white girl with a big butt that people respect. And the doctored up Kardashian booties totally don't count. I'm talking a real ass. Dimples, cellulite, weird and wide planes, the whole shebang. Maybe that girl could be me. Also, there is nothing more profound then when you are out dancing and "Baby Got Back" comes on. Because you know, deep down --in your booty-- that it is playing for you. And then you get your freak on.

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