Monday, January 21, 2013

Happy Blogiversary!

It was one year ago this day that I started this beautiful little blog here, making this my very first blogiversary! Hooray!

I am going to eat of this myself, too
I would throw a party, but I have learned the hefty lesson that no one ever comes to my parties. Also I don't have friends. Whoopee. So instead, I am just writing alone in my room. As per usual.

This blog went from an entry about becoming a badass in 90 days to the lifelong quest to be the ultimate badass I can possibly be: the super badass fitness lady. And along the way we have had many adventures, haven't we? Not only have I run in TWO (count them: two) USMC Mud Runs, in the time I since I have begun this blog I have also run an official 10k, an unofficial half marathon, taken up pole dancing, taken up aerial silks and other arial apparatuses, been trained as a GoGo dancer, taken parkour lessons, sculpted my body into a fabulously sexy beast, jumped from the world of teenager-dom to the world of the "20-somethings," had the best and most exhausting summer job ever where I got to wear silly costumes and talk in fake accents and go on lots of adventures, laid many a plans as to what the perfect man is and setting the bar just high enough so that I will never have him, had many a run in with men who range from awesome to totally douche-y and manipulative, had a healthy share of crushes, been rejected by each one, been through the 7 stages of realizing you are not going to have sex for a long time over and over again, learned a lot about writing and comedy, been shit on by the universe, and eaten A LOT of raw spinach...and many other vegetables...and oh yea cake and ice cream too, I guess...but not pasta! I haven't eaten that much pasta!

Wow, if you read all that it is almost as if I have a life. Even though I don't. Just the illusion of one. (Whoooa insane animator inside joke! Feel extra special if you get it).

But really, it's been a pretty good year here for us at Sexless and Cynical. We have managed to remain, for the most part, sexless and cynical... We still haven't decided whether or not that is a good thing, but at least we are being accurate and not falsely advertising to our consumers or anything. Not that we have any consumers, but we can't really call them fans either. They are mostly just curious Facebook friends/stalkers. (Also we decided the royal we would be really fun for a change)... The point here being that the path to becoming a badass on a level like that of the mythical Moosicorn or Batman is riddled with bumps and obstacles. Like trees that have fallen over on the trail, and you get to jump over them and feel all cool but then your pants get caught and rip a big hole in your butt and then you just feel silly. But at least we are making progress down that path, right?

We have a lot of great stuff waiting to just pop out of our fingers as we type here at Sexless and Cynical. For example, one of these days we'd really like to update the banner and layout (as much as I love the banner I put together in 5 minutes for my stupid critical reasoning class, I can probably make something a little nicer). We hope to write many, many more cynical posts about being sexless and doing exercise-y things and leveling up our badass ways. Maybe we'll even make a badass meter or something. Or maybe not because that sounds like a lot of work. And maybe you will get to hear about new things too, like new encounters with boys who are just stupid enough to keep us remaining sexless, or new adventures in the world of trying to become a professional writer, and so on and so forth. We mostly just hope we have the time to keep up with all you adoring fans, because we have a lot of schoolwork, pole dance competition prep, and personal writing schedules to keep up with. But we love you a lot, so we'll try.

So stick with us as we enter our second year of existence in this bright and beautiful internet world that is so much shinier and nicer than the abysmal real world where nothing ever goes right. And please keep reading this blog, because we don't get out and talk to people much and it validates our existence when there is traffic here. Only just a little bit though. It's not like we are in the middle of an emotional crisis or anything. We don't cry when no one reads this blog. Nope. Totally don't do that.


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